


peshwin bai

by calarinanis



Category: Bajirao Mastani
Genre: F/F, Light Angst, One-Sided Attraction, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:28:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27051208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calarinanis/pseuds/calarinanis
Summary: Kashibai did not think that she would ever be able to feel anything for Mastani other than hatred because she had ruined her marriage with Bajirao. However, new feelings grow in her chest causing her to re-examine the way she looks at Mastani.
Relationships: Kashibai/Mastani
Comments: 11
Kudos: 7





	peshwin bai

Kashi does not know when her eyes stopped searching for her Rao and started looking for his second wife.The woman who by all accounts should be akin to her sister. Yet, Mastani had grown on her in a way that she had never expected in the days after her arrival. She had been a competitor for Rao’s affections, stealing him away from Kashi with her lovely almond shaped eyes. The new feelings in her heart were incompatible with the notion of what Mastani should be to her. She should be nothing more than a rival or at best something close to a sister. Instead, Mastani had created her own place in Kashi’s heart.

_Lively Mastani with nimble fingers and slender legs._

_Luminous Mastani whose face could compete with the moon._

_Brave Mastani who defied all expectations with a smile upon her face._

Her feelings were wrong, she knew that in the same way that she knew the sun rose everyday and yet it did nothing to stem them. Seeing Mastani take Bajirao to her rooms at night was like a knife to Kashi’s heart. At first, she had believed that it was her own jealousy that Mastani had stolen her Rao. It was not. It was jealousy that Bajirao had Mastani’s company at night and that Kashi slept alone every night in a bed so cold it might well have been constructed from ice.The sounds that echoed through the palace were just as painful.

Sometimes, Kashi, wished that Mastani had not followed Bajirao. She had created a crack between her and her Rao and for all of the wrong reasons. Jealousy of her husband’s second wife was normal. The deep longing for her husband’s second wife was something that could never be accepted by society. An ache shot through her body, the pain causing her to huddle below the silken sheets of her bed. Another night that she was spending alone. Another night that she was trapped with her desire. Another night in which she would dream of Mastani.

_Mastani in her pistachio green outfit with a thin veil of gold covering her face and soft white shoes that framed her elegant feet._

_Mastani’s glorious singing filling the halls, her slender fingers plucking the strings of her instrument and her toes tapping along in rhythm to the song._

_Mastani smiling with bow shaped lips, her eyes twinkling with mischief and her face alight with happiness._

It would be another night of torment, sleeping in an empty bed with nothing save the company of her cold and crinkled sheets.

—

It had been several weeks since Mastani had joined their household. Kashi had little cause to interact with her, preferring to avoid any possibility of a confrontation though not for the reasons that the court suspected. She had always been gentle and patient yet her mother-in-law had gone to great pains to assure her that she could unleash her wrath upon Mastani. That Bajirao would tire of her. That he would not put Mastani above Kashi. She knew that was far from the truth. Her Rao had lost his heart. It was unsurprising given Mastani’s smooth black hair, light-filled eyes and those rounded, plump lips. That was not the reason that her Rao had fallen for her. Kashi knew it was the ferocity of Mastani’s heart that had won her Rao from her. She cupped her stomach. The child growing would be the last she would ever bear. A time that ought to fill her with joy was slowly but surely breaking her heart. She stumbled.

“Careful.” She felt slender arms steady her, arms that were soft as milk and strong as the ox that worked the fields.

Kashi felt her heartbeat pound. “Thank you.” Her breath was heavy, the panic slowly dissipating from her body. She had nearly fallen and it had been Mastani who had caught her.

“Let me help you back to your room,” Mastani said as she took Kashi’s arm.

Kashi offered no resistance, she was taken aback by the firm grip upon her arm which sent strange feelings down her spine. Desire was not a strange thing to her but this desire, this warming presence that burnt within her was strange. Mastani’s touch evoked a feeling she could not name. The smell of jasmine clinging to Mastani, sweet and clean, wafted towards Kashi with each step they took. Bells tinkled from both their ankles, bangles clattered upon their wrists and their hips swayed in tandem as they moved. It was reassuring to Kashi. Mastani had arrived like a queen in her finery and it was comforting to see that she walked upon the same bright tiles that Kashi had crossed many times. They arrived at her room.

She felt the warmth of Mastani desert her as she settled down onto her bed. “Mastani-”

“You must take better care of yourself, Peshwin Bai,” said Mastani. “Rao Sahib would be unhappy if you had fallen.”

Kashi watched as Mastani left, the jasmine following her out of the room. They had spoken no words other than necessary and yet Kashi felt the ache in her heart increase at the sound of bells growing fainter and fainter. She had not yet been kind to Mastani. She had not been unkind, it was true. She had envied her for taking her Rao away until those feelings had changed. It had not bothered Mastani who had been nothing but kind every time they met despite the fact that she probably believed Kashi hated her.

It could not be further from the truth.

—

Fear swarmed her body. Overhearing the plans to kill Mastani had frightened her beyond belief at first to the point she felt she could not move. She had been raised in a gentler environment and her married life had been much the same. Her husband’s family had never spoken of violence before her and it had chilled her to learn of their plans for Mastani. Innocent Mastani whose only crime had been to love a man who loved her in return. Kashi had seen the joy within her Rao’s face and the radiant light that exuded from Mastani’s eyes when they were together. It was a sight she had seen many times. And, she had come to love them both. Her Rao had betrayed her but how could she blame him? Mastani’s love was overwhelming, it radiated out of her body at every opportunity, and it was something that Kashi had felt in small doses. She ran, her feet clattering upon the ground. Mastani did not share her feelings, that did not mean she wanted her death.

“Kashi,” said her mother-in-law as she approached. “Come along, I have a gift for you.”

She forced her feet to follow, not wanting to cause any disrespect to the woman who had loved her like a daughter. It was a difficult task. Her heart longed to find Mastani, to stand in front of her like a shield whilst their Rao wielded his sword, but she knew she must be patient. Mastani would be in no immediate danger. They had spoken of carrying out their plans later tonight at the _puja_ and that gave Kashi enough time. A mere moment with her mother-in-law would cause no harm provided she was quick enough. She hurried along.

“Thank you Maaji,” Kashi said as she saw the beautiful crimson sari woven with gold.

Several minutes later, Kashi had escaped the talks about the _puja_ along with the discussion of which jewellery she was going to pair with her new sari. Her mind had been absent, thinking only of the need to warn her Rao about the plot against Mastani. The only time her thoughts had strayed was when she had imagined Mastani in a sari like the one she had been gifted. The dark crimson would suit her fair face and the spots of gold would matchMastani’s eyes: such a deep brown yet flickering with a hint of gold. She focused back upon the urgency of the situation.

She needed to alert her Rao.

—

“You need not worry, I have had worse injuries,” Mastani said with an attempted smile.

Kashi wiped away the blood from her forehead. “I must apologise for my family.” She lifted her hands up in an apology.

“Do not apologise, Peshwin Bai.” Mastani took her hands.

The brief instance of her tender skin against Kashi’s palms was like a lightning bolt striking her down. Protectiveness roared in her soul for Mastani. Her wounds were deep and it had happened at the hands of the people Kashi had considered her own. It was a guilt which she would carry with her forever. Poor Shamsher Bahadur had cried for his mother in Kashi’s arms until Mastani had woken up with a jolt. Their Rao had stood guard at the door, refusing admittance to all those who dared venture to this Mahal. His face had held a terror at the sight of his Mastani, a look that Kashi had glimpsed in her own eyes. For the first time since their separation, they were united in their care for Mastani.

_Mastani who had been attacked by a group of guards as she begged._

_Mastani who carried her son upon her back as she fought like Maa Kali._

_Mastani who had blood streaming down her face and whose eyes were cloudy with pain._

Kashi would never allow this to befall her Mastani again. If she had to guard her with her life, she would do so with all her will. No-one would be allowed to inflict such pain upon such an intelligent beauty. She knew her Rao would punish all those responsible and yet somehow it was not enough for Kashi. She wanted to see them in a place of fear, dripping with blood as their heads lolled upon the ground. It was a violent image. One that she had never thought would cross her mind until the events that occurred today. She looked at innocent Mastani who even now had an expression of strength nestled within every crevice of her face.

“You must call me Kashi now,” she said as she took Mastani’s slender hands in her own.

The smile grew on Mastani’s face. “I am grateful to you for saving my life.”

“Do not speak, you must rest.”

Mastani held tight to her hand, the oval shaped nails causing indentations in Kashi’s hand and yet she did not mind. It was a reminder that Mastani was alive. That despite the slashes in her back and the stab to her stomach, Mastani was still alive and with her. Kashi was not certain who was comforting who at this point. She had felt a great deal of panic at the sight of the bloodiness of Mastani’s face whilst Mastani herself had been calm. Even now Mastani’s lotus shaped eyes were tranquil and there was a serenity upon her face.

Kashi would not let this peace disappear from Mastani’s face ever again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


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